Classic Stone Cold on Twitter this morning. Steve Austin posted several tweets about fighting sharks at his house that he originally thought were Jehovah's Witnesses! Read below:
i guess i was sleep walking last night with my shark skin jacket on...3 bullet holes in it...and 250,000 dollars in a briefcase by my bed
6 black lincoln town cars just pulled up outside...dark tinted windows..cant see anything inside...better get to my safe.. doesnt look good.
just uncocked all my pistols...it was a bunch of jehova's witness people and they had the wrong address...thank God. no pun intended...
not gonna believe this...they just came back..what the hell?? these people wont take no for an answer..hold it...somethings not quite right.
they are not jehovas witnesses after all.they are SHARKS dressed up like jehovas witnesses!! cant believe i didnt see the dorsal fins...
damn...they have my house completely surrounded...i just picked up the phone...they thought i was calling 911...wrong!!
just ordered three pepperoni pizzas and and a case of beer...this may take a while and its tough to shoot and cook at the same time...
three news helicopters and a swat helicopter buzzing over head...neighbors must have called..im digging in and planning for the worst...
it seems as if everything is happening in slow motion..the anticipation of blood, gunfire, and death has...made me hungry.damn i love pizza.
they just threw a Gideon Bible through my window!!! it has a message attached to it...they want me to come out with my hands up!!!
just busted out my own bible...reading them a script from the chapter of Austin...verse 3:16...you know what happens now...
i cant describe the brutality and chaos that just happened...i would probably get kicked off twitter...it all happened so fast...
i have taken a few hits.6 rounds..got the bleeding stopped.yep im ok.reach and pull a cold one out of the cooler and survey the carnage....
there are dead sharks everywhere...everywhere... a combination of jonestown meets apocalypse now meets jaws...and its not even noon...
not even i know what to make of all this...i guess the moral of this story is-dont fuck with me until i have had my morning coffee...
gotta clean up all these dead sharks....have a great day folks!
1 comment:
This is why you shouldn't eat cheese before going to bed at night.
Cheese once caused me to dream that "El Mesias" Ricky Banderas was floating outside my bedroom window (white eyes, drooling blood) trying to break in and eat me. Or possibly humble me. And no, I am NOT joking.
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